Dear Brothers and Sisters!

Human beings naturally seek a spouse, a home, trust, commitment, support, love, care, peace and compassion; in short, the experience of being part of a family. A family is a complete and rich unit that goes beyond simply being large or small. It includes not just parents and children, but also grandparents, grandchildren, relatives and even neighbours; each playing an essential role in this meaningful bond. To be a family, as stated by Allah (swt), is “to be garments for one another.”[1] A family is like clothing—covering, protecting, beautifying and harmonising. It is a sacred place where joy, happiness and sorrow are experienced together. Therefore, a family is not just a space of relationships, but rather a multidimensional space of communication.

Dear Brothers and Sisters!

Communication is the process of transmitting, expressing and understanding information between two people. We call it communication when we make the world meaningful, share the meanings we discover with others, and convey our troubles, emotions, thoughts, needs and expectations to those around us. Being able to do this without hurting or being hurt is referred to as healthy communication. Sometimes communication is verbal; we talk, converse and engage in heartfelt dialogue. Other times, it is nonverbal; we establish silent communication through a posture, a glance, a smile or a frown. A peaceful and happy family does not mean a family that never faces problems, difficulties, arguments or tensions. A peaceful and happy family is one that can establish healthy communication and resolve problems and challenges in a humane way.

Dear Jama’ah!

Allah (swt) states in a verse of the Qur’an: “Tell My servants to say that which is best. Surely, Shaytan sows discord among them. Indeed, Shaytan is a clear enemy to man.”[2] In this verse, it is emphasised that believers should speak with grace and kindness, and they are advised to observe the rules of manners and courtesy in their relationships and conversations. This way of conduct is, after all, a requirement of being human. If you want to influence someone and bring about change whether it’s your spouse, your child, or someone else; you must establish a positive relationship and constructive communication with them. At the beginning of our khutba, we recited another verse in which Allah (swt) says: “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.”[3] The Qur’an places the words mawaddah (affection) and rahmah (mercy) at the foundation of the family. The language of the heart is essentially made up of these two words. Mawaddah is love, affection and deep connection. Rahmah is compassion, kindness and grace. To express mawaddah; the love in your heart—throughout all circumstances, and to make others feel the warmth of your rahmah—even in the hardest moments—is only possible when the language of the heart prevails. In a home where the language of the heart rules, there can be no talk of domestic violence or lack of communication. Because in such a home, both the inside and outside are filled with mercy.

Dear Brothers and Sisters!

In a family where the language of the heart and mercy reside, mercy speaks and violence falls silent; love speaks and hatred falls silent; friends speak and enemies fall silent. There is no exclusion with “you,” but an embrace and unity with “we.” Everyone is beautiful, sees beauty, recognises beauty. There is abundance, not scarcity. Joy, not sorrow. Constant dua, not curses. Let us conclude with the hadith we recited at the beginning of our khutba and with a dua. The Messenger of Allah (saw) said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his family. And I am the best among you to my family.”[4]

O Allah! Grant our families love, respect, loyalty, patience, responsibility, peace and blessings. Bring our families together with unity, affection, love, mercy and togetherness. Do not allow hatred, conflict, betrayal or separation to enter our homes. Ameen!

[1] Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:187

[2] Surah Al-Isra, 17:53

[3] Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21

[4] Tirmizî, Menâkıb, 63

Khutba – Tips for Healthy Family Communication